Coffins of the past

Memories of the past mould who we are today. Just as how our actions today determine who we will be in the future. I have had a few people who are dear to me, change right in front of my eyes, because of unresolved issues of the past. Often these painful memories creep silently to haunt you, right when you think you are safe. You hide the emotional turmoil, because you want to find time to puzzle out the problems of the past by yourself. Because you would rather face it alone. But never have you found the answer why. Why certain things happen, and the world (at least it seems like it) chooses to turn a blind eye to your misfortune.
Why are evil people set free, and good folks done injustice?
Do you realize that when you are sad and depressed, most of the time you are merely recalling a painful memory, like a thorn in your heart? The depression takes root when you are lonely. No, not the usual lonely. The kind of loneliness that happens when you find yourself surrounded by people, yet you feel alone. Different. When you see smiles, yet you cannot seem to force a smile out on your face, no matter how hard you try. The crowd goes one way, but you go the other. Because certain experiences breed different people, and certain memories trigger different emotions when something at present happens.
Sorrowful things happen. Happy things happen. That is life, at least from my 18 year old point of view. Yet this is where people differ. We can choose to learn from these experiences. Because something like this has happened, we can understand how other people must feel when they are going through something similar.
That is why I find people like this, more understanding, and willing to care about others. They may be taciturn, but they listen. You may not be a good speaker, but you can be a good listener.
A monk once said that carrying the coffins of the past is heavy. Why did he term it coffin? Because the memories were dead, there is nothing you can do to relive it(the memories, i mean). If you cannot learn from it, if you cannot bring yourself to forget, to throw it away, put it down. Just for a moment. And live in the moment.
The moment of now is what you can change.
The moment of now is what changes you.
Then you can resume carrying the burden. It is respites like this that refills your fuel tank to continue life. When things are too much to handle, and you are fed up with thinking. Stop thinking. Just give your mind the much needed rest from the endless bickering.
Of course, saying it is much easier than doing it. Even more when you are hurting. But sometimes, no matter how much others explain to you, you will never understand, not unless you get through the worst moments of it by yourself.
Everybody has their own coffin of memories, be it happy or sad ones, on their back. But why can some people smile their way through everything? And why do some rich spoilt brats whine at the tiniest things?
I guess, in the end, you make your own world. You decide whether or not to move on or carry it with you.
You decide to smile or to cry.
You determine your happiness or sadness.